Yeah so I just returned from watching the second installment of Stephenie Meyers Best Seller:
Twilight Saga: New Moon.
But before I go to that. I never wrote anything about the first movie over here, so I'll
do that real quick now. :'D
It sucked, surprised? The End.
It was one of those movies that I couldn't watch without constantly pushing the pause button every 15 minutes or so. And the VampireSpeedRunningFast scenes were hilariously bad. XD
The only good things about that movie were the soundtrack, and especially "Decode" performed by Paramore.
And the guy who played Bella's DAD, he was good. :'D

One more thing before moving on to the New Moon. At the beginning of this week I went to see
2012, because hey, it's an End-of-the-World-Everything-Explodes-Non-Stop-Running-From-Special-Effects.
And it was dumb as hell of course! XD But it was entertaining so go watch it just for the effects.
And so that you can laugh your ass off for more than a few impossible and ridiculous things that happen
in it. :'D
But if you're going to go see it then go see it in theaters because a home TV or computer screen won't do justice for the effects. XD And altough I prefer the normal "2D" way of watching a movie, this is one of those movies that SHOULD be in 3D but isn't. XD

Now fiiiiiiinally let's move on.... :'D
I'll try to keep this shorter than my Half-Blood Prince "talk/review" was, but I won't promise anything!
To those who have been like me, and actually READ the books ( though I'm still short on the fourth one, somebody wanna give it to me as a christmas present? I'm simply dying to read it... XD ) and
have seen THIS -> [link] trailer of the movie, can say flat out that that trailer sums up the whole "plot" and "keypoints" of the second book.... And I find that kinda sad.
And seriously that trailer IS the sum up of the two hour film I watched tonight. :I

I consider myself lucky, that although the theater was full, it wasn't full of brainless giggling 14-year-old-twitards ( though that's not saying most of the people weren't exactly those kind of poeple. :I ). I was sitting in the very backrow and as my eyes scouted the area, I realized that 97% of the poeple were girls/woman, the rest were boys/men who were dragged there by their significant other.
And then there was me. XD
Next to me sat a man from whose facial expression and from the way he drummed his chair with his fingers
I could clearly see that he was one of these people who was dragged there by someone else. I so would have wanted to turn to him, shake his hand and said "I know how you feel".

The lights then faded after 15 minutes of useless advertisments, the fangirls cheered, the movie started.
And at the 15 minute mark was when someone decided that this was not his movie and left the theater, and never returned. XD If only I had forseen what was waiting for me.... :'D
This movie was unlike anything I've seen for a while. Every 10-15 minutes I had to change the way I sat so that I could bare with the movie a little more.
I was expecting that I could laugh out loud at how silly/awkward/dumb/shitty it would be, but I couldn't,
even when the movie tried purposely to be funny and make the audience laugh, I couldn't laugh.
To sum it up the whole movie for me was a blank stare. :I
The saying "waste of time" just received a whole new purpose to me.

New Moon wasn't just "bad" in the normal meaning of the word.
Transformers 2 was a bad and extremely dumb movie. But was it entertaining? Yeah it actually was at times. Even when Michael Bay went all out with his random shit, I was still never bored with the film even though it lasted for two and a half hour.
G.I Joe was a bad and filled with many stupid things. Was that one entertaining? Well at least it was
unpurposely hilarious at times, so yeah it was entertaining at times.
2012 was filled with every possible cliche and the "plot" was something you've seen a hundred times over. YET IT STILL WAS AN ENTERTAINING MOVIE!
New Moon....is not an entertaining movie. :I Only the fangirl groups that were scattered around the audience giggled every time the movie tried some humour. The only actor in the movie who got me loosen
my blank stare was once again the Dad i.e Charlie.
Everything else in the movie caused me to sink into the very essence of bank stare.

Again the writer took a few liberties with the plot to make it seem "more convenient" and a bit
more fast paced than the book was. This though caused some things seem really rushed and went by without
much of an explanation. Sometimes it felt really jumpy, but then again, I don't blame them, cuz
the book didn't make sense either. :I

The actors returned of course as you'd expect. This time Jacob was in stereoids...and like we all have seen from the trailer, walking arounf without his shirt almost 24/7. But hey guess what? He's not the only one. -___- They just had to put every possible Without-a-Shirt scene into the movie and there's QUITE a few of 'em. Also it was a bit weird to see how their sixpacks kept getting more and more visible with every scene... And of course at the end...Edward just had to strip his shirt in slowmotion. And honestly I don't understand how some people can drool over him because of that. :'D
Hmm how about, how about I start randomly walking in sloooooooooowmoooooootiooooooon, remove my shirt
dramatically and walk around shirtless with an expression that I'm strugling to say something but I just can't for some reason? Isn't that a good idea huh, huh?
Yeah, that would be awesome. Oh and now that I think about it, they really overused the SloMoSpeedUp in this movie... almost felt like watching a bad imitation of a Zack Snyder movie. XD
And the Volturi.....well, they looked a bit better than they did in the few screencaps that I posted a million years back... :'D
And although I still had a real problem with Aro's forehead I actually felt positive about him. The same
goes with that one who-looks-a-bit-like-Severus-Snape-but-older VolturiBoss, I liked his voice. xD

So was there anything else I "liked" about this movie other than the few things I've mentioned?
Pretty much no. :I The score was nice once again, but it was also overused. There was a real sing-along
song in a scene where it felt really out of place, and that bugged me the hell out.
Also nearing the end when they meet the Volturi, the 1 min fight scene looked semi-nicely done. Nothing
special nothing mind blowing, but at least better than in the first movie.
( Btw the wolves could have looked A LOT better if they just had tried a little more. :I )


There's one more thing that I'll say before wrapping this up. And that's about the ending of this movie.
YOU DO NOT END A AMOVIE LIKE THAT! That's how you end A SOAP OPERA! Seriously...If there is one thing that I just can't stand about this movie, it's the ending.
The movie literally ends with a "lolwut" expression.
It's like the editor dropped his pen or something and knelt on the floor to pick it up, and was too lazy
to delete the 10 seconds that accidentally got into the end of the movie. :I
You could seriously replace Bella's last words in the movie with "lolwut".


All in all, if you like seeing shirtless men with evolving muscles, hey! Congratulations you've found your movie! Otherwise you can just pass this by and regret nothing.
If you can honest-to-God say that you LIKE this movie and you think it's a GOOD and WELL MADE movie.
Sorry... but you're wrong, and you deserve to be chained into a thingimagoon like the one in Clockwork Orange and be forced to watch REAL movies for the next eternity until you realize the errors of your way. :I
Screw this movie.

---


Sheesh...it came out as a long post after all.... :'D Well to anyone who actually read it, here's
a price!

Comment and I will comment back with a picture of the fictional character that most reminds me of you. Then post the same in your journal.
Got this some time ago from ~minninen from her LiveJournal and decided to post it here now :'D

But now I'll be heading to bed. o/